Not complicated here, just direct and to the point. What do you believe as far as someone being gay? For a male that has always had feminine ways since a young child, what are your thoughts on one being BORN THAT WAY? I was taught that you are not BORN that way because God would never do that or allow that. This is a 14 year old that says that they are just not attracted to girls. The Bible says that NO HOMOSEXUALS WILL ENTER INTO HEAVEN (along with other sins). THAT is what the Bible says , so how would you get around that?
This 14 year old is my grandson and this is causing MUCH problems!!
thanks for the email and I can imagine your heartache. It seems that parents (and grand-parents) face so many new challenges these days that were hardly thought of a generation ago. Our youth are struggling under all sorts of confusion (an increasing percentage no longer even know what gender they are!) and it is very difficult for kids to navigate safely through this difficult age.
In terms of your questions, the Bible is clear, in both Old and New Testaments, that homosexuality is a sin (ie Genesis 19:1–13; Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26–27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Jude 1:7). Whether one is born that way is a complicated issue. I'm far from an expert but I'll state where I stand. I don't believe there is a 'gay-gene' as such (which the LGBT movement is desperate to prove.) But hormones and chemicals in our bodies are affected by our environment and by what we (or our mothers while pregnant) take and we certainly live in an age with more drugs and chemicals/pesticides etc than ever before. This leads to all sorts of health issues that previous generations haven't known.
The following page is useful of whether someone is born gay. https://www.gotquestions.org/born-gay.html
In part it speaks from a medical point of view of the many factors that can influence sexuality. It says:
"Most researchers have concluded that sexual orientation is a complex, multifactorial issue in which biological, social and psychological factors combine to play a role in the ultimate sexual orientation of an individual. According to Julie Harren, Ph.D., the formula for this interplay between factors might be represented by these equations:
--Genes + Brain Wiring + Prenatal Hormonal Environment = Temperament.
--Parents + Peers + Experiences = Environment.
--Temperament + Environment = Homosexual Orientation."
In terms 'No homosexuals will enter into heaven' it is not homosexuality that keeps a person out of Heaven. Homosexuality is a sin but we are all sinners by nature. That will come out in different ways due to our upbringing and temperament but we all sin. Pride is enough to keep someone out of heaven. So is gossip. The list of acts that exclude one from Heaven (which includes homosexuality) also includes idolaters, greedy and slanderers. (1 Cor 6:9-10). Other lists include the cowardly and liars (Rev 21:8) The point is this - not one of us are worthy of Heaven. All of us require God's grace and salvation. So the one sin that prevents a person from entering Heaven is the failure to believe in the work of the Lord Jesus and accept His offer of salvation.
Now look at what it says about those in Corinth:
1Co 6:9-11 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders (10) nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
It says that is what some of you were. The fact that the washing, sanctification and justification are all in the past tense (ie you 'were' washed) is a pointer to their salvation and that their position and identity before God is no longer as a 'thief' or an 'adulterer' or a 'homosexual' or a 'slanderer'... their identity because of the salvation of God is as one justified, righteous before God, a child of God. Now does that mean that the saved one will not have any issues with their particular weakness and sin anymore? It might. Sometimes God's salvation brings instant deliverance in an area. Other times the temptation remains. But temptation is not sin (even Jesus was tempted), it is the act that is. And when a believer does sin they confess it. We have an advocate in the Lord Jesus. (1 John 2:1-2) The wonder of the gospel is that a true born again believer has had ALL their sins forgiven and are PERFECT in the sight of God (Heb 10:1,14,18).
I know it must be very difficult seeing the struggles and confusion of your grandchild. You didn't say whether he believes in the Lord Jesus or not. I don't know what his attitude towards homosexuality is. It is also worth bearing in mind that he is still only 14 and the body has a lot of changes still to go through. But, as you believe he has had feminine traits for some time, your job is to treat him as Jesus would. Jesus was able to show both grace and truth (John 1:17, 8:11). Not always easy to find the right balance but your task is to do the same... and PRAY! In the end it is the power of God through prayer that changes hearts. God loves your grandchild very much. Jesus didn't come to judge but to save (John 3:17). And He is still in the business of saving, changing people and turning their lives around.
May God bless your grandson and give you the wisdom and grace in helping and supporting him through this time.